bluejay

Dahlonega
2013

By
Thom Cantrall

 

Alex’s Table

It was mid-January of 2013 and it was raining in Georgia.  In fact, it was pouring so hard that people were beginning to discuss just what a cubit was and where they could find gopherwood!

The reason we were gathered here was due to Alex “Midnight Walker” Munoz and his Georgia Bigfoot Conference to be held in the Dahlonega region.  This gathering began at the Atlanta airport when Keith Bearden and crew were there to meet me, Ron Morehead and Arla Williams, nee Collett, to transport us to the venue.  Ron and I rode with Keith and Arla with the distaff side.  After a  quick stop for a bite of dinner, a loop tour of some strange part of Atlanta due to our guide spending more concentration on his discussion than his directions and a major traffic tie up due to an accident, we were eventually deposited at our cabins at the retreat that was to be our home and the focus of our gathering for the next few days.

The conference was brilliant, of course, was brilliant… from Jim Vieira and his treatise

Baby Blue Jay

on the giants who once lived in the land to Scott Nelson and his Bigfoot Rap, based on Ron Morehead’s “Sierra Sounds” audio, we were transfixed!  We even survived Sally’s attempts to regiment and control our thoughts and actions!  But, as usual, the real treats were the people!  The time spent in our shared cabin was divine!  Foremost among these, for my part,  was the time shared with my gorgeous artist friend, Alex Evans.

Alex had been specifically invited by me to display her work there and one of the

Thom ‘n Alex

things she brought was her new doll, a likeness of a sasquatch infant she had named “Blue Jay”.  Blue Jay was very life-like and quite intriguing in nature.

Alex would hold her in such a manner as to cause her to move in her blankets like a real baby would.  She held her in her arms with her hands beneath her in such a way so she could manipulate her arms and legs, causing them to move as a real baby might while in her blankets.  She had practiced this enough that she was really very good at it!  Watched from even a short distance, the movements of the blankets and the occasional flash of a hairy hand or foot from beneath those blankets looked completely natural and appropriate… except when one looked, here was this little, hairy creature peering back from the depths of the blanket.

It was decided that, for visiting the conference, the baby needed some appropriate receiving type blankets.  After all, we didn’t want her to become uncomfortable and disturb other’s enjoyment of the speakers by getting chilled and raising a fuss there, although she really was a most tractable baby and never seemed to cry or raise a fuss at any time!  To achieve our desired end, it was decided a trip to town and a visit to the local Wal-Mart would be in order.    A short conference yielded an interested contingent so we loaded into the available vehicles and headed towards our goal.  Of course, as it did for most of this weekend, it was raining furiously when we arrived.  We had our driver unload us very near the front door so we could get out of the weather as quickly as possible.  The last thing we wanted was for Blue jay to get damp or chilled and develop a cold!

As far as the Wal-Mart world knew, Alex and I were the proud (if incongruous) parents a darling (if hirsute) baby…  From groceries to housewares, from hardware to fabrics and sewing sections we wandered.  For much of these perambulations we had an entourage of our cohorts from the conference with Keith Bearden ever-present with his video recorder preserving the scene for posterity.  Eventually, however, others had other missions to accomplish and by the time we reached the counter where we were to find the blanket material, we had even lost our ubiquitous videographer…  which, as it turned out, was most unfortunate!

The clerk at the counter was a rather matronly woman who seemed somewhat chagrined that this rather old fellow was, seemingly, attached to this young, vibrant redhead and the fact they appeared to have a baby at HIS AGE was just a scandal!  Her view of us as a couple was pretty much  down her nose the entire time we were there, so, naturally, we turned up the heat…

“Darling,” he said as he leaned over to kiss her gently on the cheeks in open view of the entire WORLD, while winking unseen in an unspoken bid to gain her help in this subterfuge, “don’t you think the yellow would be wonderful for our Sweet Blue Jay?”

“Oh my, Baby mine,” she replied while writhing like she was in pain, “the yellow would so show off her big brown eyes…”  As she returned the kiss… as she flipped the “baby’s” leg up from under the blanket she was presently wrapped in, causing Mrs. Betterthanyou behind the counter to jump back about two feet as her eyes widened to approximately the diameter of  a Number Ten can.

As our conversation continued, ranging over such topics as, how many do you think we will need to, “Do you think Mark and Sherry would watch Blue Jay for a couple of hours this afternoon so we can practice making Blue Jay’s brother?”  (It was at this point that I thought we might have overdone it as Bertha seemed to be having trouble getting her breath and her skin tone was alternating from florid to wan and back again, very closely emulating a revolving barber pole in its transformations of colors.

I will say this for her, however, she never ONCE let off trying to get a look inside the blanket while, all the time, not once giving outward indication that she cared a WHIT… unless you watched her… which Alex and I were!  It must be remembered that all of this was taking place while we “parents” were maintaining a calm, serene, even composed countenance while, inside, our guts were bursting!

Arla with Blue Jay

With our transaction complete there, we left…  Poor Mrs. Betterthanyou still not having gotten a clear look at Baby Blue Jay…  and we made our way to checkout…

Somewhere between the back of the store and the registers at the front, we regained out entourage, including Keith and his video.  While in line, he taunted the native population with temptations of “a sasquatch baby”.  Most accepted the gibes as they were meant, if full fun, but there were some…

The most humorous was a rather large matron who had never heard of sasquatch nor bigfoot and is the subject of a youtube.com video that Keith posted of her and their conversations.

The final, parting shot occurred as the little mother and I were standing under the roofed porch waiting for

Blue Jay

the car to be brought from the parking lot to pick us up there and save us getting drenched in the current downpour.  While waiting, another middle aged lady accosted us for having our baby out on such a wet, miserable day… that the baby could very easily catch a bug of some kind…

Just at that moment, Blue Jay chose to kick her hairy leg out of her blanket and Alex smiled sweetly at the lady and said, “Oh, not to worry, she’s made for bad weather… she’s used to it… as the woman’s eyes widened to unbelievable dimensions…

Click Here to see Keith’s Video – Clerk meets Blue Jay

Click Here to See  People of Wal Mart meet Blue Jay

Click Here to See Thom’s books